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£20 million Cloudbursting PDF Print E-mail
Satire
Written by John Eager   
Monday, 12 August 2013 11:44

Spoof Article

Britain is spending £20m to artificially trigger rain, helping farmers whose crops are suffering because of the scorching summer weather.

In scenes reminiscent of the 1985 Kate Bush song Cloudbusting, the treasury has announced that it had allocated the money from National Lottery funds to the drought-easing measures, which involve firing silver iodide or dry ice into clouds. The process is known as cloud seeding.

 

 

A heatwave across central and eastern Britain has led to drinking water shortages for almost 3 million people in Birmingham and London and hit crops. On Wednesday, London had its hottest day since records began 140 years ago, with temperatures soaring to 40.8C, and the Home Office issued a fifth red alert warning for further extreme heat. The BBC has published pictures of prawns and meat cooking in pans set on manhole covers.

At least 10 people have died in Birmingham's heatwave, while officials say Worcester and Gloucester have each seen three deaths from heatstroke.

Electricity output soared to an all-time high in Britain last month with experts blaming increased use of air conditioners, and some areas in the south have complained of power failures.

The Met Office has said temperatures across the south should begin to drop from 13 August but might remain above 35C in some areas.

But while some areas are struggling to cope with the lack of rain and the drying up of water sources, others have endured downpours. Last month, at least 44 people died in severe flooding and thousands of homes were damaged or destroyed after heavy rainfall in areas including Cornwall and Devon counties, in the south-west. In Yorkshire, in the north-east, workers have increased flood protection measures after weeks of heavy rain.

Scientists say that while individual weather events cannot be attributed to global warming, the risk of extreme weather is rising.

Lindsay Erda, a member of the national expert committee on climate change and a professor at the UK Academy of Agricultural Sciences, said: "The chances of high temperature and precipitation are continuously increasing in Britain, [but] it is hard for climate experts to predict how or in what degree."

She said she believed artificial precipitation would be effective in some areas, but noted that it worked only under certain conditions.

"In the long run, we can only prepare to deal with climate change, and reduce the emission of greenhouse gases to slow down global warming."

Michael Fish, another climate expert, told the state news agency, the BBC, that extreme weather events were becoming more frequent and that climate change would cause Britain's rain belt to move north in the summer.

Thomas Tong, lavatory hygiene officer with the UK's Met Office, told the Ledbury Portal that many cities were not prepared for such severe weather at present. He said development plans should include details of how to manage such conditions.

Editor

Britain today or science fiction gloom? Actually this is China last week with people's, organisation's and place names changed.

For the actual story: China tries £20m hi-tech raindance as country roasts in heatwave

Last Updated on Tuesday, 03 September 2013 15:54
 
Comments (1)
The Climate Change Parties
1 Monday, 12 August 2013 15:02
Ray X
The problem China has is with its climate change parties.

China has only one elected communist who is opposed to climate change, namely Ca Pat Luc of Macau.

Macau, on China's South coast, is the only constituency in the whole of China where the people voted to protect the environment, rather than inflate their own wallets.

Meanwhile the climate change parties - the Communist Conservative Party led by Da Wi Don Cam, the People's Communist Labour Party, led by Ed Sam Mi Li and the Liberal Communist Democratic Party led by Ni Wi Pe Cleg are all singing from the same public school hymn sheet. They believe that if America and Europe will not sign up to environmental stability and reduce carbon emissions, then there is no point in China doing so.

China's other problem contributing to climate change is over-population. It was recently reported that there has been a rise of nearly half a million people in the last year to a staggering total of 63.7 million. That's 63 million mouths to feed, backs to clothe and heads to shelter.

If you continue to vote for the elite communists Da Wi Don Cam, Ed Sam Mi Li and Ni Wi Pe Cleg - in all certainty, you know your vote is for climate change.