Spoof Article

Officers from the Communist Council of Herefordshire recently 'visited' an Eastern European store where they seized more than 20 cigarettes where the UK duty had been evaded.

Following information extracted from citizens there have been more raids and resulting seizures from shops within Communist Herefordshire.

Comrade Bullie, the Communist Council of Herefordshire's economy enforcement officer, said: "If illicit cigarettes are found in shops, it is possible that they haven’t had the correct duty paid. They may even be counterfeit which are extremely dangerous, you just don’t know what is in them."

“All tobacco is harmful but easy access to cheap tobacco increases the health risks because it encourages people to keep smoking and smoke more and more and more and more. Smokers are not made aware of the health risks by the critical health warnings that should be placed on every packet, like all your teeth will fall out and you will smell bad.

"Those found guilty of dealing in smuggled illicit tobacco could face up to seventy years in prison, fines, extended periods of interrogation, confiscation of the illicit products and seizure of the proceeds of their crime including vehicles used in the transportation of illicit tobacco.

"You will not dissent."

Editor: In 2008-9 the UK government made a tidy £8.2 billion profit from tax on cigarettes and tobacco. It is believed Mr Bullie is paid over £200,000 year from government tobacco profiteering.