Spoof Article

Chairman Ca Ma Ron of the climate change Corporate Communist Conservationist Government of Little England as well as Wales has announced an extension of the badger panda cull.

The Chairman has announced that the aquatic blubbery badger, the flying pie badger and the lesser hairy smelly badger will all face extensive culling by having their brains shot out of their heads by well-intentioned trained marksmen.

A government spokesperson said: "Roadkill's not good enough for these vermin. They spread diseases and eat everything. They are an environmental nightmare and they have no or little economic value. And, you know, they aren't even that cuddly."

A dissenter in parliament asked why there should be an extension of this unscientific cull. The Great Leader, Ca Ma Ron, replied stating that secret evidence obtained by Civil Intelligence Services in a third country suggested that the questioner was in fact a probable terrorist and therefore his views and questions should not be taken into consideration. However, climate change activator, Chairman Ca Ma Ron, did have this to say on behalf of the half nation:

"I don't like things that are black and white. Never have. Things should be black or white, or gray, but never black and white. How can anything really be both black and white? It just doesn't make any sense. In reality there are no black and white animals. Everyone knows this. We must control these so-called mythical cryptozoological beasts and protect our precious agricultural ecology. They will be culled. The leader has spoken. There is no debate. There will be no dissent."