Satirical Nature

The leader of our party - I love calling it a party; so much more fun than calling it an organisation, or a business, or a group, a company, an institution, mob, gang or syndicate. Hell, party, party, party, I love it, but I digress.

The leader of our great party, Borish the Silverback, has decisively outlined the party's economic philosophy: Greed is good. Especially at this time of year as we approach the mid-winter and its festivals, as we wrap up to keep warm and think about our friends and family - it's important to remember that old Tory adage: "It's better to receive than give." When you think about it, it's all about taking. You buy a new fridge, we take 20%; you go to work, we take 20%; you fill up your car, hell, we'll take 60%, you smoke, you drink, you die, we'll take our cut.

And then we give - to the Corporations - tax breaks and incentives, working tax credits to top up low wages, bloated billion pound contracts to construct UK infrastructure and tax loops and tax havens to keep the greedy even greedier. This is the natural order, of course. All people are greedy, but some people are more greedy than others. And greed is good.

And the best thing of all is that you don't care, because you're too stupid to work it out. With 99% of the population having a lower IQ than the top 1%, it's easy to see why the cream rises to top and the cheese sinks to the bottom - well easy for me, that is.

Just remember. We know what's best for you - and you selected me.