Spoof Article

Ho, ho, ho! Ha, ha, ha! Back again, your selected future MP, Big Willy Biggun, here to keep your two fingers up on the Tory pulse.

What a banktastic year its been for the Big Boys. Our coke-snorting suits have gobbled up enormous bonuses - more power to them. Meanwhile, their off-shore counterparts are a perfect haven for the likes of Google, Amazon, Facebook and Apple...., Starbucks, Boots and Vodaphone..., EDF, N Power and Southern Water - a seemingly endless list of top grade Corporations with great accountants. Why pay a fair UK corporation tax when you can just open an office in Ireland and stuff the money away overseas?

Not content with putting the money safely away from poverty's dirty grabbing hands the Corporations are also saving on wages - Sports Direct, Boots, Cineworld, Centreparcs, the Co-Op, the NHS, why, even our own House of Lords and Her Maj's Buckingham Palace are all paying staff on zero hours contracts.

Others shun away from this excellent money saving idea and instead refuse to pay employees a living wage. Hold your hands up Tesco, Sainsburys, Asda and Morrisons. Well done! And why not when there's a compliant mass of tax payers to top up wages with Labour's excellent tax credits. All power to Labour, TB had more balls than Mrs T; such a shame about Gordon 'Commie' Brown.

There's no doubt that greed is good, and that we are very good at greed.

My new year's wish list? More billion pound contracts to G4S and Serco funded by the tax payer and lets hope that BP can get off without paying any more silly compensation for the Deepwater Horizon (so-called) disaster in the Gulf of Mexico.

And here's to my future directorship on board a top corporation.

A Prosperous New Year to a small minority of you!