Spoof Article

Hello again, it's me, Willy Biggun, filtered - bet you didn't recognise me.

Ah, my dear suckers and chokers, how are you all enjoying the weather we're having and all this nasty foreign pollution - I blame the Tuareg myself. Still, it's better than having your house flooded, isn't it!

As you can see I'm all masked up with the latest anti-pollution technology, which is fine if you can afford it. But with air pollution the world's new biggest killer, who can afford not to?

Of course, if I was selected to Parliament, I'd do something about it. I'd make noises, talk to the right people, ask questions in Parliament, propose legislation, clean up the air. But what can I do, suckers? I am just a dumb chimp behind a mask.