Spoof Artiicle

I have been the victim of a media sting. I was recently approached online by a young journalist, who told me she was a happy-go-lucky she chimp and fancied me something rotten. Well, of course, I could see the attraction; me a wealthy, powerful and experienced statesman and her, an adventurous young thing wanting a taste of my action.

Well, she sent me provocative, sexually explicit images of herself and asked me to reciprocate, which of course I did without a second thought. It would have been impolite not too.

Little did I know, though, that this wasn't an attractive young lady chimp out for a supercharged virtual sex romp, but an obese, middle-aged journalist working for the 'local' rag.

I have been asked to resign, but for me Westminster is a job for life, and I will never resign.

I have since discovered that this underhand undercover hack had actually sent me sexual images of someone else - some fancy model called Zira. I had been duped right and proper. But I got the last laugh.

WARNING: Sexually Explicit Image

But what he didn't know, was that I had done the same as him. This is not my arse. And you try to prove that it is!