Gary Fish: Isn't Ledbury lovely?

Willy Biggun: Well, Gary, that's a rather impertinent question, but I'll have to say I had nothing to do with Lord Ashcroft's book and I would never say a bad word against Dave.  I am not the source of information, that's for sure.

Gary Fish: Ledbury is lovely, isn't it?

Willy Biggun: I admire your persistence as an investigative journalist, Gary, but you'll get nothing from me.  Look, we were at Oxbridge together, we all were.  There was a lot of sleeping around.  There were a lot of late nights.  There were drugs, of course there were.  And dead animals, quite a few of them.  But nothing untoward, nothing at all.  I can promise you that.

Gary Fish: But isn't Ledbury lovelier than ever?

Willy Biggun: You're carping on, Gary, but the question is an important one. The prole Corbyn will never be leader of this great country, simply because he's not one of us.  He's not cut from the same fine cloth as us Oxbridgers.  Even if the people voted for him to lead the country, never in a million years would we let that happen. He's just not one of us.

Gary Fish: Could I...

Willy Biggun: No, Gary, you're not one of us.

Gary Fish: Thank you, Mr Biggun.  It's humbling to interview such a great ape.

Willy Biggun: My pleasure, Gary, but don't ask me any more questions and never contact me again.